Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
