Porn is love you can see.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My pussy is not your playground.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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