I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Alive.
So much puke
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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