I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
