Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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