Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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