She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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