Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
