I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
not ubering you a puppy
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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