Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
