the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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