i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
