HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
