i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think your dad took our porno
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
