so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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