You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
