Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize