we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize