Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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