My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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