does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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