we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
