are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize