I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
