Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
