then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
