If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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