Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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