Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
