I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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