yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
