I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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