You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
