super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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