She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
