I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
