but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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