My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
