I hope mine doesn't look like that
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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