you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
