Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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