eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY