I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
farters have to be the big spoon...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.