youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
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Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
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No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
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I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's