He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force