the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
They have beer where we have blood.