I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
