As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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