just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
