uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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