I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
