the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
