Me. At least after what I've been through.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
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He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
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Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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