Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Four minutes until I can fart!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
