the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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