phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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