I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
