it wasn't lemon gatorade
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
