do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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