Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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