I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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