dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
